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It’s funny but we all make the same mistake, all of us not knowing that the rest of us have already made it or are just about to make it, it’s just one of those things that we all have to get through somehow & that some of us will spend our lives repeating. It’s lasagne of course, I’m sure you’d all mostly guessed anyway but if you didn’t don’t worry, you will, it’s impossible not to make mistakes when it comes to lasagne from the moment of discovery to the last bite you’ll ever have. None of us will ever forget lasagne & yet we’ll all have the stories that chill the blood as we remember the other times, the lasagne that just didn’t work out, even the ones that we did our best with & desperately hoped that we’d found the ultimate lasagne. In the end though it’s not just about the pasta or how well the white sauce was stirred or what kind of cheese was or wasn’t required or even what dish it was served in or what with, there are some things you can’t spoil & some that are built spoilt, that’s lasagne for you.

It’s easy in the beginning, you’ve heard about lasagne, you’ve discussed it with your friends & listened avidly to the tales of those who swear they’ve had it even though you’re damn sure that they’re lying, then one day, that gloriously terrifying day it happens, lasagne is on the menu. You can’t concentrate, your senses are on fire & you can’t really believe that you’re about to have lasagne, even while it’s happening but before you’ve got your fork in you still can’t believe it, it’s amazing but driven over the edge you rush through the whole dish without ever really tasting it. The first time takes everyone like that, it’s over so quickly yet deep down we’re changed forever, we know all about egg & chips & we like it but from here on in it’s lasagne that reigns supreme. This sudden interest in cooking takes over our lives for a few years, we’re so addicted to lasagne that we’re careless as to who we share it with, you can of course enjoy lasagne alone but it’s nothing like the shared dish & only leaves you washing up & feeling depressed. So we plough on through life grabbing a lasagne whenever it’s offered & finding out that not all lasagne is the same & that sometimes the thought of lasagne is better than the dish itself, these are dark days indeed.

No matter, that day dawns when we meet that special someone whose lasagne is simply the best we’ve ever tasted & which we cannot live without, we live for lasagne & have it morning, noon & night if time allows, the world overflows with lasagne & we overflow with it, we may tweak the recipe every now & then or mess with the sauce but deep down it’s always the original recipe we return to. Sometimes though there’s just so much lasagne & it’s so easy to get that we find other things to do in the times where before lasagne was king, we forget the thrills & go on with life knowing that lasagne will turn up & that it’s no big deal, we mix the sauce sloppily & ignore the herb garden. Soon we sit at the table of life with the lasagne before us & we know that it’s no good, the bright ones among us get out the cookbooks & start making fresh lasagne, the others assume that lasagne is no longer that big a deal & have a sandwich instead. For these people there are shocks in store, sooner or later they find their loved ones enjoying lasagne again but this time they’re not being invited & the table is set for two, if they’re lucky then it was just a bite in a cafe they’ll never pass again but who knows? It doesn’t pay to taste test lasagnes unless you like going home to the microwave version, people of the world, when in doubt always know where the lasagne is, it may not save your life. it may indeed risk it but never mind, a good lasagne is always worth a little risk.

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