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I’m not going to mess about here, this isn’t a post that pretends to explain whether Fridays are evil, they are & that’s all there is to it, the only real question is whether they’re evil by design or intent? I mean Fridays do seem to set out to destroy us, oh they’re great at first, when you’re sat at school first thing Monday morning the coming Friday looks like a beacon of hope in an otherwise bloody bleak world. It shines with the promise of fun & freedom where you can escape the pressures of life & just let it all go. It’s still keeping its’ glorious glow long after our school days are over, it’s still the end of the week after all but now we’re allowed out later at night & after a heavy week drudging the boards for pennies Friday & the bright lights beckon cheerfully. There’s hope attached to Friday that Monday just can’t carry off, yes Saturday always gets top billing but deep down we all know that Friday is king of the hill & that Wednesday is boring, Tuesday’s hardly a day at all & who cares about Thursday? The only reason anyone gets worked up over Thursday is because it’s Friday the day after, & so it goes on, the years pass & we’re lulled into thinking that Fridays are our friend, it’s not though, Friday is out to get all of us.

Now there are those who would say that you can’t blame a particular day of the week for the things that happen on that day, you can though, but only Fridays, rubbish stuff may happen every Monday without fail but where’s the surprise there? We all know Mondays are crap & no-one actually expects to enjoy them, nope, Friday hurts because it’s not only a broken promise but because it’s laughing at us while it does it. This doesn’t make the day itself evil though, our hopes & fears ought to be none of its’ concern since it is after all just an arbitrary name for a day & not a thing in its’ own right, since awful things happen to me every bloody Friday though I’m certain that it’s personal. For starters it hides its’ nefarious designs with advertising, something not employed by any other jobbing weekday, people respect Good Friday whilst fearing Friday the 13th without ever seeing the trick, Friday the 13th isn’t anymore evil than the Friday before or after it & Good Friday was good for who? They’re all evil but such malign trickery leaves some doubt as to whether it’s by chance or not, surely only a malevolent presence imbued with the rage of centuries could spill so much beer & heartache? That’s aside from all the smashed plates, lousy dinner parties, flat batteries & twisted cash machines, & these are only the normal rubbish things that can happen on a Friday, it can be much, much worse.

Bad stuff can happen throughout the week but Friday does seem to be a concentrated batch of doom, perhaps this is caused by all our expectations but I doubt it, my Fridays have been rubbish for years & I’m no longer fooled by the trite pretence that just because it’s Friday there’ll be a lie-in on Saturday. My own personal experience is that Saturday is for cleaning up the mess made by Friday & the more free time you appear to be getting on Saturday makes it almost cartain that Friday will be a disaster, it could be that Friday is not some dark god of the calendar but at the very least it’s a shifty looking sod. The only thing we can do is to avoid them, well, fair enough that’s not possible but we can stop making plans for them or giving them any reason to wreck the place, hosting a party on a Friday night is just asking for trouble & about as much use as charging through a thunderstorm in a suit of armour. Have the party Saturday, it’ll be less exciting sure but your gran wont have hit the gin & the crowd of passing bikers wont have hit you, people will turn up together & leave together more often, it wont be quite the party it would have been on Friday but so what? It will be survivable, because Friday really just might be the only mistake a social life needs to have.

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